The Last Mile to Oasis!!

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A voice in you is crystals clear
A thought inside has no fear
Remember, you are chasing a dream not so far
it is not  a castle you are building
But it is a Kingdom you have a thirst for!!

Your shoulders may hunch
For all the responsibilites are bunch
Your throat may dry away
For you are screaming into deaf ears
Your eyes may get tired
For only you are staring the invisible successs!!

It may all seem muddled now
It may all seem impossible now
It may all seem tiresome now
But remember this
New rays will emerge in the horizon
Your armour will shine along your victory!!

The day will come
Spreading joy for all and some
A smile across your face
When you see puzzles fall in place
Keep feeding your dreams
Keep walking those streets
For there’s no end to Success neither to Dreams!!

Desperate soul in an Unruly Mess!!

How do I find myself in the midst of dramas. All the time!!

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Honestly I do not know the answer. It is not that I make any conscious effort to be a part of the drama. But I will eventually be in one or the other at any given point. There is no day in my life as far as I can remember that there is nothing bothering me – okay , maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration- but that is what it feels like to me.

Even if it is not my problem, it will be someone else’s around me. My friends or their family, or my family itself. Could be my father-in-law’s property problem which my husband will be involved in, and I will inevitably find myself in that soup. My friend is undergoing a hard time after delivery, her new born is in ICU ,critical since birth, it has been a week now and I find myself worrying about it. Another friend’s father has met with an accident underwent a major surgery and I find myself spending my weekend over his place. Cousin of mine is suffering a head stroke from months, scheduled his second major brain surgery in the coming week, and I find myself visiting him and rant about he is going to be okay and soon he will play with his two little girls. I couldn’t decipher a word he was trying to speak. It was all non-coherent and I just went on and on not bothering his questions. At the same time I am consoling a friend who wants to leave the country because she needs a change and clueless about what she wants in life.

Sometimes it all seems tiring. Not just physically -of course not all of these people are in the same hospital- but more so mentally. If I start thinking about all of these things I Just cannot put my head into work. I think my mind operates like two different people, or two different rooms.

When I sit in the cab every morning to go to work , I put all that is worrying me in one room lock the door and put the key safely in a place, so I can open them later. When I get back home, no matter what I have on my plate I have to put them in another room and lock it before I open the key of the other room. I feel like two different people each time. One cannot fit in other’s role. I know it is not probably the most efficient way to deal with things, but that’s the best I can do. While doing so I screw few things royally –  that’s mostly my personal life.

I wonder how other women with children and in-laws manage, or with parents  and not-so-understanding husbands or men with nagging/cribbing wives, old age ill parents, infants or young people away from homes. How do they manage it all? I am sure everyone have their share of dramas in life. I don’t see many cribbing about it like I am right now. I know there is nothing called Work-Life balance. But there should be one side balanced in the least (or is it too much to expect in  all the mess? ) at any point I do not want to put my career at stake. Right now I am lucky enough to work in a great team and the best possible management (I mean my Boss). At the same time I cannot take things for granted. I want to be career oriented too. Aim big, dream big ,, yes, all of that. But how? Yeah,, that’s more than a million dollar question. My brain just cannot take anymore of meaningful stuff. I don’t know how to best manage things! (Looser!! – yea agree)

I am not saying I am doing the most selfless job or I am trying to solve all their problems. NO ,, I AM NOT TRYING TO DO THAT! But still, I am in the middle of someone’s life. How and Why ? I have no clue.  Should I be? Could I quit? I have no clue either.

If I start thinking about all these things at once, my head will probably explode , I may end up running on the roads screaming on top of my voice.

Most importantly no one cares what you are going thru, since mostly in these type of situations you will only be in the listening mode. You cannot go share one’s problems with another. You will have to keep ALL of that to yourself and that is very difficult. Sometimes you want to shut yourself from everyone you know  or just be numb to people around you and be a zombie or to care less about everything  and say “fuck you!” to the problems, act as if nothing has ever happened!

Phew!! I know this too shall pass. Right now I am confused and seem to be deeply buried in shit. As long as I am holding my breath, it seems to be too difficult to live. I may just have to breathe that stink and get over with it soon. Only I am yearning to see that ray of light on the other side of the tunnel in all of these people’s lives. Desperately!

Miracle!!

I did not believe
All those fairy tales
All those miracles
Creator or the creation!!

Ever since I knew
You would come in my life
I spent Every day of mine
Thinking  Imagining
Everything about you!!

How would you look?
How would you speak?
Anxious, worried
Would you like me like I do?
Would you hold my hand?
Would you understand me like I do?

I feel your presence every second
My heart races with you on mind
As I look out to the stars
I am now as sure as their existence
You will be part of my life forever
I will love you and leave you never!!

And when I saw you in my arms
All that wait was worthwhile
All that pain never mattered
You are the miracle I witnessed
A fairy touching my life
I thank the Creator for Creating me
For you were Born with a part of me!!

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Together we can!!

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What you cannot fight alone
Together we can
Alone you can fail
Together we won’t
Let us dream bigger
Grow together
Help each other
Work hard, party harder
Fight our own fears
Beat our own success
There is a leader within us
Let’s unleash him
And lead from within
For Success isn’t a destination
But a pit stop of celebration
Before we set on
Yet another Journey!
Yet another Success!!
Yet another Party!!!
Together we Can!!!

How I see…!!

I’m planning to come up with a new series of writing. I pick any random picture and write something about it.  Since my poems or articles are usually very long,  I’m challenging myself to write short.. in Less than 10 sentences. 

Feel free to contribute, try this challenge for yourself; have fun and share with me too.
All you gave to do is add ‘howisee’ in your tag for your posts and I will find you.

I’m not sure how long I do this… But I wanna start anyway. . And I’m inviting all of you to join me. ..  🙂 
Let’s have some fun learning !!

My City- There’s Sunlight!!

YAAYYY!! There’s sunlight!!! Everything is bright and shiny:) It had been very gloomy mornings and days in namma Bengaluru from past 10 days. It would pour down every day and because of that there were traffic congestions everywhere, complaints of people bout it, trees had fallen, the news channels made money by jus showing the same pit on the road for 30 min. People like me would cry to wake up from the bed in such weather.  When it is cold and raining early morning all I want to do is to be tucked in my bed  or sip a good coffee looking out at rains #myDreamaworld .
Duh!! #Reality I curse the alarm, snooze it 2 times. That sleep between the snoozes is the best I tell you. Then heat up the water as there won’t be solar water in the taps. Drag my feet to the bathroom, take call from transport to direct the cab to my place – there will be a different driver every single day anddd I will be running around the house finding my things. That’s my reality.
But today. . There’s sunnnnnn 🙂 !! -Not that I like Sun over Rains, but when you have to get your ass out of bed to go to work I think the Sun serves better than the romantic grey clouds and drizzles ;);).
Sitting inthe cab ,  I see more cheerful faces on the roads, birds extending their wings warming them up starting their day instead of being stuck in the trees. I close my eyes letting the sun rays warm my eyelids.  It’s a nice feeling. Have you ever tried ? It is a bit challenging -to get him warm my skin constantly for even a min- with the high rise buildings, over bridges blocking him from me. 

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All in all I think it is a great Morning and I am feeling nothing less than better;)
I hope you all have a wonderful day too!!

Mine, Yours!!!

My Problems are Mine

Your Problems are Ours

We try to find answers

Find that balance in your life

Endurance is a cheater

It fails me all the time!

My Dreams are Mine

Your Dreams are Ours

We strive to make them real

While I fight to keep mine alive

Compromise is a Cheater

For it fails me every time!

My Efforts are inessential

Yours are significant

I must be patient

For I bear the loss

Patience is a cheater

It fails me all the time!

You do the sacrifices

I be the selfish

All your concerns are screamed

While mine fail to find their voice

Silence is a cheater

For it fails me every time!

All those cheaters help me

In the journey of your success

I fail and forget over and over

For your life has you

While mine has Us!

For you are mine

and I am Yours!!

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